It has has been two months since my boyfriend of 2 years and I broke up. To those na kakagaling lang din sa isang break up, trust me, relate na relate ako to all the things that you are going through at the moment.
For the record, this is not the first time someone broke my heart. And frankly, isa na yata ako sa mga pinaka-experienced pagdating sa, ehem, PAG-IBIG. But you know, when you’re in this “broken” situation, lahat ng natutunan mo in the past don’t seem to matter. Kasi feeling natin eh bagong experience itong latest break-up situation that we’re into. As if naman! Tingnan mo ‘to:
STEP 1: May nakilala kang “bago”
STEP 2: Nagkamabutihan kayo
STEP 3: Naging kayo
STEP 4: Nag-away kayo
STEP 5: Naghiwalay kayo
STEP 6: Repeat Step 1
So anong bago roon, di ba? ‘Wag kang OA sa pag-iinarte mo!
On a serious note, there were days that I would beat up (figuratively) and blame myself. Tapos in a matter of minutes, makikita ko ang sarili ko na jina-justify ang nangyari – na kasalanan naman naming dalawa talaga. Then I would go back blaming myself again. I would actually spend hours and days trying to figure out what went wrong. Para akong nakikipaglaro ng basketball sa sarili ko.
And you know the worst part is, kapag iniisip ko kung sino na ang katabi niya ngayon sa pagtulog, sino at ilang lalaki na ba ang naka-sex niya after our breakup, or kung sino na ba ang bago niyang manliligaw… Nakakapraning! Every time I will log in to my Facebook account, hindi ko maiwasan na tingnan ang profile niya para maki-chizmiz kung ano na ba ang nangyayari sa kanya. At pilit kong dinadalangin na sana, sana wala akong makitang photos na may kasama siyang ibang lalaki. Dahil, iyon ang mga bagay na ginagawa namin dati — together. Tapos iiyak na naman ako. Akala ko gigising ako isang umaga na alam kong makaka-move on na ako pero heto, I’m back to being frustrated!
Lahat na yata ng Santo eh dinasalan ko na para makalimot at maging masaya ulit.
Ganito ka rin ba ngayon? If so, sige lang. Umiyak ka lang hanggang lumuwa yang mata mo. Umiyak ka lang hanggang lahat ng sipon sa katawan mo eh nailabas mo na. Karapatan mo yan eh. Kaya sige lang.
Nami-miss ko siya hanggang ngayon. Nami-miss ko ang bawat yakap at halik niya. I miss the sex. I miss the good times and the bad ones.
Pero alam mo kung sino yung mas nami-miss ko? Ako! Nami-miss ko yung sarili ko. I miss seeing myself smiling and happy. I miss showing to myself kung gaano ko ina-appreciate ang sarili ko. Nami-miss ko yung mga talents and skills ko na hindi ko natuunan ng pansin dahil sa lecheng Pag-ibig na yan. Nami-miss kong mahalin ang sarili ko.
Sa sobrang pagka-depress natin over our breakups, we tend to forget ourselves.
I’m sure may iba jan na ang iniisip nila is to immediately look for someone else – a replacement. A rebound. It seems to be the most obvious way para makalimot, di ba? You’re going to have a good sex with other guys, get a new chance to “start over”. More kilig, more fun, right? WRONG!
Ako na nagsasabi sa ‘yo, gawin mo ‘yan at makikita mo ang sarili mo na nasa isang cycle na aayawan mo at kadidirihan mo sa bandang huli (see the 6 Steps above).
I’d like to share with you two medicines na kung ite-take mo regularly, you’ll be okay and back to your own two feet in no time. Mura lang ‘to. But for you, just for today, I’m going to give it at no cost. Free trial, kung baga.
The first medicine is called the “Big F”. No, it doesn’t mean Fuck. I don’t want you to fuck around – figuratively and literally! I know, I know. Masarap siya, yes.
“F” stands for Forgiveness. You need it big time! Now, in taking this medicine, consume a high dosage for yourself. Don’t worry about overdose. In fact, the more you take it, the better. Mas maganda ang results. Isa sa mga positive outcomes of taking this medicine is to make you stop blaming yourself for everything and eventually, it will also stop you from blaming him for what happened. It will also make you calm everyday and prevent you from being insane. Another positive result is to make you pick up the broken pieces in your life and become a better and stronger person. Prescription period is to take it indefinitely. The Greatest Doctor would advise you to take it forever. He guarantees NO negative side effects.
Another medicine is called “LG”. This is not the electronics company though. And to go shopping in order for you to compensate your sadness is NOT advisable. “LG” means Letting Go. Shits happen to everybody. Akala mo sa ‘yo lang? Haler? Learning the Art of Letting Go will help you take sad things easier. Oo, masakit. Masakit isipin na may ka-sex na siyang iba. Masakit isipin na may nagpapasaya na sa kanyang iba. Masakit isipin na sobrang saya niya na iniwan ka sa ere, nag-iisa. Masakit isipin na habang siya ay nagsasaya, heto ka – nalulungkot at miserable. Kung ito nga ang mga iniisip mo, YOU HAVE TO STOP! The Greatest Doctor advises us to learn “LG” because He has better plans for us. It may not be the same as our plans but you have to trust Him that His plans are always better than ours. Prescription period of LG is to take it forever, too. He also guarantees NO negative side effects and very high consumption is recommended.
These two medicines are NOT available in any drugstores worldwide. You can, however, find these two in a store near you: in your Heart and in your Mind. They are open 24/7, 365 days a year.
Alam kong it will be difficult at first to take both medicines. Trust me, I know. Even my body sometimes rejects these two up to now. But I simply continue to trust my Doctor. I know He has better plans for me.
#emoterangpalaka #choosehappiness #livelifelovelife