This coming Valentine’s Day, single ka pa rin ba? ‘Wag kang mag-alala dahil dadamayan kita. Charot! I’d rather be single than see myself in a complicated relationship. Bakit ko papahirapan ang sarili ko, di ba?

You know what’s funny? ‘Yung makakita ka sa Facebook at Twitter ng mga posts na may hashtag like #hugotpamore, #singleproblems, etc. Buset!

Don’t get me wrong though. I’m not bitter in Love. In fact, I believe that I have so much love to offer. Medyo sad lang kasi challenging maghanap ng tamang tao na mamahalin. And please, don’t give me the don’t-look-for-love crap. Alam ko na ‘yan.

Sabi nga nila, everything at the right time. Ayaw mo pa ring maniwala? Eh di bahala ka. Gusto mong maging padalos-dalos, eh di push! But stop blaming the world for your heartaches, okay? ‘Wag kang tanga!

We all have our stories to tell – may it be about our professional life, love life, or family life. And I love to listen to your story. Kaya after you read this post, contact me anytime and magkwentuhan tayo. 🙂

For now, hayaan mo na muna ako ang magkwento. Moment ko ‘to. ‘Wag kang ano!

Matagal na rin akong umiibig. 17 years old pa lang ako nang magkaroon ako ng first boyfriend. 15 years after, heto, nga-nga pa rin. Not that I had been single all those years. Haler? I’m far from being a saint. May mga relationships ako na tumagal ng 3 months, 8 months, 2 years, and 4 years. Pero nung medyo nagka-edad na ‘ko, doon ko lang naranasan ‘yong mga long-term relationships. Oo, para sa katulad kong beki, matagal na kapag nagkaroon ka ng jowa for a year. FYI, never akong nagkaroon ng jowa na “straight” (kuno) na guy. The least that you would want to have in your love life kapag beki ka ay ang magkaroon ng jowa na sobrang daming hang-ups sa buhay. Sakit sa ulo. Promise!

Well, naging sakit din naman ako sa ulo lalo na yung sa karelasyon ko for 4 years. Kaya nga when he decided to leave me, hinayaan ko na siya. I knew he deserved a much better guy than myself. And don’t get me started in talking about my last relationship. Ugh!

Anyway, let’s go back to our topic: Ano nga ba ang best Valentine gift ever? Ikaw, ano sa tingin mo? If you were to ask me, the best gift this Valentine’s Day is LOVE… (‘Wag ka munang magre-react! Hindi pa ‘ko tapos!)

The best Valentine’s gift is LOVE for one’s self. Para sa medyo intellectually challenged, ang ibig ko pong sabihin ay ang pagmamahal mo sa iyong sarili ang pinakamagandang regalo na maibibigay mo ngayong Valentine’s Day. Please allow me to elaborate on this:

One of the things I learned from my 4-year relationship was this: “You cannot give what you do not have.” Sa simula, ayokong pakinggan o maniwala rito. Kasi ang reason ko sa sarili ko that time was: “Ang tunay na pagmamahal ay yung kapag naibibigay mo ang isang bagay sa taong mahal mo kahit ikaw sa sarili mo ay wala nito.” I was superficial and unrealistic.

Alam mo, I can now say na yung luma kong paniniwala was full of shit! And I feel disgusted every time na naiisip ko na I used to live with that kind of belief in mind. It’s sickening! It’s stupid, really.

If you believe na Love is sacrificial, then good for you. But remember the point of argument here: “Paano mo masasabing kaya mong i-sacrifice ang isang bagay na wala ka naman nito sa sarili mo to begin with?” Hindi mo naman puwedeng utangin ang Sacrifice, no? Again, ‘wag kang tanga.

The mistake I committed was believing I could give love to my partner kahit hindi ko kayang mahalin ang sarili ko nang buong-buo. Funny as it may sound but I really learned my ex-boyfriend’s wisdom the hard way and it took me a long time to appreciate it. Pride took over me kaya naging gano’n. I was making excuses for myself, for my shortcomings. After realizing my wrong, it was too late. He left me.

Ikaw ba? Mahal mo ba ang sarili mo? Kasi kung sasabihin mo sa akin na “Oo” pero heto ka at nag-e-emote dahil sa recent breakup niyo ng jowa mo, isa kang malaking plastic bag. Yes, masakit ang hiwalayan. However, if you have more than enough love for yourself, hindi ka mag-e-emote nang ganyan. Hindi mo papatagalin ‘yang kagagahan mo over what happened. Simple lang ‘yan eh:

Mind you, this conversation is not about pride. This is about taking good care and loving yourself more. Kung normal kang tao, hahayaan mo bang malungkot ka? Kung hindi na talaga nag-workout ang relationship at nasasabi mo naman sa sarili mo na you already did and gave your best, eh di hindi na. Alamin mo ang self-worth mo, friend.

So this coming Valentine’s Day, don’t be sad if you’re still single. Consider this as an opportunity for you to fill more love into yourself. Kasi kapag ramdam mo na umaapaw na ang pagmamahal mo sa sarili mo, then that is the best time to tell yourself na kaya mo na talagang magmahal muli. And trust me, the Universe will make its way para makilala mo ang Mr. or Ms. Right mo. You simply have to believe.

Kung ikaw naman ay committed na ngayon, it’s also a perfect time to re-evaluate the love for yourself. Naniniwala ako na bago ka humingi ng isang bagay sa Universe, you need to give it something first and not the other way around. Anyway, this applies to everything else that we do in our daily life.

So, ikaw? What’s your story?

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