It has been months since my boyfriend and I broke up. It hasn’t been easy for me. There were nights when I wish there were actions not done and emotions not felt.
Eventually, I got tired of a lot of things:
1. Wishing that we would get back together
2. Blaming myself for the failed relationship
3. Finding out if he’s already dating somebody else
4. Figuring out what went wrong in our relationship
5. Convincing myself that both of us had our faults
6. Telling myself that I’ve moved on
7. Believing that he actually loved me
I was hurting and nobody else could help me but myself. I don’t know with you but it sucks to see yourself trying to drag your soul to do something productive every single day as you get up from your stinking bed. I need to keep my mind occupied – very occupied.
Good thing is, I’ve always had this tendency to look at the brighter side of things. I’m quite uncertain if that has something to do with genetics or I acquired the trait as I grow older. Personally, I think it’s the latter. I’m taking this whole breakup thing as an opportunity for me to learn, relearn, and unlearn stuff. It’s not as hard as you initially think it will be. All you have to do is realize that shits happen for better reasons. STOP figuring things out too much. It’s more tiring to do than sex!
So here are the list of activities I began doing to better my situation:
A. Go back to gym
I went back to the gym a month ago as of this writing. I weighed 211 lbs. when I started. “How could I ever let this happen to myself?”, I asked. When you begin asking dead-end or nonsensical questions, do yourself a favor and focus on what you want to accomplish instead. As much as you can, stop dwelling in the past. Nothing that you finally decide to do in the present can ever change what has already done in the past.
B. Go swimming
People who are close to me can attest how much I hated swimming. But you know what? Boy, I was so wrong about it. Swimming is addictive! Staying in the water gives me new perspective towards a lot of things. What’s more good about this is that I get to meet new friends at the end of the day. IT. IS. FUN.
C. Watch my diet
I haven’t eaten rice since I went back to the gym. Why? I know it will sound weird but for some reason, I began to look at rice as something poisonous. Well, that’s just me so mind your own freaking business, okay? No, I do not starve myself to death. I’m trying to eat healthier foods now. No more drive-thru’s for me. A cup of hot green tea, anyone?
UPDATE: I went back to eating rice in October 2015
D. Spend more time with REAL friends
I have been spending weekends with my 3 girl friends in the world. We were school mates in college. And because we are all in mutual agreement that we want to stay gorgeous, we play badminton together, eat healthy foods at our favorite restaurant, swim for at least 2 hours, and go on out-of-town trips.
It’s always good to rediscover yourself and reconnect with people you know you can trust. After more than a month of doing these outdoor activities, I feel more alive. With my friends, it’s not about having fun all the time. We still talk about the challenges we have on a day-to-day basis, our romantic lives (and the lack of it), finances, and anything under the sun.
If you are currently experiencing this “phase” (letting go of your ex), my best advice I can share with you is REINVENT YOURSELF. Change your daily routine. You owe it to yourself. As for me, I know I can always do and make things better. That’s why I know I’ll be just fine.
If you are coming from a situation where you want to make necessary changes to improve your present life, just do it! It is only you who can stop yourself from becoming a better individual.
The thought of uncertainty can be scary, I know. But you have to do what you’re ought to do. You’re never alone.